


Maybe We Can Be Enough

by PhillyAndBear



Category: Amazingphil - Fandom, Danisnotonfire - Fandom, Phandom
Genre: Aromantic Character, Aromantic Dan, Other, Queerplatonic relationship, platonic phan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-05-11 05:06:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5614993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhillyAndBear/pseuds/PhillyAndBear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan is aromantic and Phil is in love with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

When Dan first told Phil, he was crying. Because he had never told anyone about this and he was scared of getting judged. It took some time for him to actually get the words out of his mouth but finally he told Phil that he was aromantic. And Phil hugged Dan and told him “It’s okay” and that was all Dan needed to hear.

They talked about it again, about a year later. They were living together now and one night Phil came over to Dan’s room to talk. This time it was Phil who was crying as he told Dan that he was in love with him. And then they were both crying as Dan said that he wasn’t and that he never would be.

It didn’t come up for a few months after that but then Phil came into Dan’s room once again in the middle of the night. They talked for a long time. Dan told Phil that he loved him a lot, in a platonic way. Phil told Dan that he loved him a lot, in every way. Dan cried again because he so badly wanted to be able to love Phil in every way as well.

Talking at night became a regular thing for them then. Sometimes it would be Phil going over to Dans room, sometimes it would be Dan going over to Phils room. They didn’t always talk about the same thing but they would always talk about something and more often than not they would fall asleep, cuddled up in the same bed.

They actually hadn’t talked about it in a long time when Phil brings it up once again. “Dan, what are we?” and Dan just shakes his head because he doesn’t know. If Phil was crying that night, after he’d gone back to his own bed, he certainly doesn’t tell Dan about it.

The next time it’s Dan who brings it up. “We both know that I’ll never love you in a romantic way but this, whatever it is we have, feels good and it feels right and I like it like this and I hope you feel the same way”. Phil nods and there’s some more crying, but this time it’s not because they’re confused or scared, but because they’re relieved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone's interested in that, I'm thinking about turning this into a whole story. I don't know yet if I'm going to write more about their past and them figuring themselves out or if I'll just continue from here. What would you like to see? Feedback would be greatly appreciated :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because some of you actually wanted me to continue and left some really nice comments (thank you!) I’m going to write more detailed chapters about the stages of their ‘relationship’, so this is Dans coming out :)

Dan had met Phil a few times now and he felt like it was time to tell him about his secret. He had never shared it with anyone before but Phil was his first best friend and that is what you’re suppossed to do when you have a best friend - you share your secrets with them, right?

Although he felt like he could trust Phil, he was also incredibly nervous. He didn’t know how Phil would react. Would he even understand it? Would he laugh at him? Would he tell him that he was broken, that something was wrong with him? 

That’s probably what scared Dan the most, having someone else confirm that he was broken. Because that’s what he believed in for the most part. Even though finding the word ‘aromantic’ and finding out that there were other people who felt like him had helped him to start accepting that part of him, on most days he still felt like he was broken. 

Because broken was what he had felt for most of his live. When everyone around him started getting crushes and no one would believe him when he said that no, he didn’t have a crush. When everyone around him started getting into relationships while he was not at all interested in that. Everyone always talked about how great love is and that you need to marry to live a happy and fullfilling live, you saw it in every movie, read about it in every book, heard it in every song. But Dan couldn't feel that love that everyone was so obsessed with, he just couldn't. How could he not have felt broken, living in a society that was so fixated on love and romance? So he never told anyone about it, because he didn’t want anyone else to see how broken he was. 

But still, he had to tell Phil now. Because Phil had already talked about moving in together and Dan didn’t want Phil to expect anything from him that he couldn’t give. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them. So he had to tell him.

Getting the words out of his mouth was hard, it was probably the hardest thing Dan ever had to do. He was crying and Phil looked so worried as he sat there next to him, but neither of them said a word; Dan because he was too scared and Phil because he didn’t know what to do, didn’t understand why Dan was even crying in the first place.

Eventually, Dan just told him. He didn’t look at him, keeping his eyes on the ground as he waited for Phils reaction. 

When he felt someone wrapping his arms around him he flinched, but then he relaxed into Phils arms, letting his tears run free. “It’s okay, Dan. It’s okay” Phil whispered. And for the first time in his life, Dan thought that maybe it was okay, because for the first time in his life he felt like he was being thoroughly accepted for who he truly was.


	3. Chapter 3

In the year that followed that conversation a lot happened in the life of Dan and Phil, the most important and exciting part being that they moved in together.

Phil thought a lot about the day Dan had told him that he was aromantic. Because there was something he hadn’t told him that day, something important. Sometimes he would imagine himself finally telling Dan. 

_“Dan, I’m in love with you. I have been since we first met and I think I always will be” Phil whispered, looking deep into Dan’s eyes. “And I’m in love with you, Phil” Dan replied, before he leaned in to kiss Phil._

But Phil knew that it wouldn’t happen that way, knew that that couldn’t possibly happen. So he kept quiet and said nothing. 

Eventually it became too much for him though. He didn’t want to have to hide this from Dan anymore. Every time he talked to him he felt like he was betraying him by keeping this huge secret. It only get worse whenever Dan talked about how relieved he was that Phil already knew his biggest secret, how much closer he felt to him because of that.

He tried to tell him once. They were sitting on the couch, watching an anime together, when Phil got up his courage to tell him. 

“Dan? I have to tell you something” He spoke quietly and his tone was serious, maybe even a little sad.

But when Dan turned to him, he looked scared. He looked so scared and Phil just couldn’t do it. So instead he forced out a small laugh and said “I ate all your cereal again”.

That night he went to bed feeling conflicted. Although he still felt guilty for not telling Dan, the look of relief on his face after finding out that Phil only wanted to talk about cereal had been worth it, right?

For the next few weeks, Phil tried not to think about it. He would keep his distance from Dan, trying to make his feelings go away. He could see that it hurt Dan but neither of them said anything about it. Until one night Phil decided that he had had enough.

He was more nervous than he remembered ever being in his whole life as he got out of bed and walked over to Dans room. Dan was still awake and although he was confused, he told Phil to come in.

Once they both sat down on the bed together, Phil told Dan that they needed to talk. The scared look was immediately back on Dans face but this time Phil was prepared. He didn’t look at Dan, instead he looked down at the floor, opened his mouth and started crying.

He was a bit surprised at himself, if he was being honest, because he barely ever cried but here he was. When he heard a soft and questioning “Phil?”, he knew he had to say something though.

“I’m sorry”

“What are you sorry for, Phil?”

“I’m in love with you, Dan”


	4. Chapter 4

“I’m in love with you, Dan”

Dan suddenly remembered the cat he got for his birthday when he was 12. He had been so excited for it. He barely had any friends but now he would get a cat, a little living creature that depended on him, that would live with him and love him. He named it ‘Catrick Stump’ because he had just discovered Fall Out Boy and he thought he was being funny. He would feed him and try to play with him and pet him. But Catrick didn’t like to be touched by Dan, he wouldn’t let him play with him and he wouldn’t let him pet him. In fact, the only time Dan ever saw Catrick, was when he was eating. The rest of the time the cat would be outside or hiding from Dan. His parents would say that he was just being shy because he was still young, he would warm up to Dan. But no matter what Dan did, no matter how much he loved Catrick, Catrick just wouldn’t love him back. So eventually, Dan got bored of him. In the end, they gave Catrick to his little cousin and Dan never asked about him again.

And now Dan was just like Catrick. No matter what Phil did, he would never be able to love him back, at least not in a romantic way, and that was the only way that seemed to matter in this world. So if Dan couldn’t love him back, Phil would get bored with him and eventually would stop talking to him, just like Dan did with Catrick.

That’s when it really hit Dan. Phil loved him and Dan couldn’t love him back. Phil would leave him and forget about him. This was it, this was the end Dan had dreaded right from the beginning. He started to cry.

“I’m sorry Dan, I’m so sorry” Phils words confused him. What was he sorry for? It was Dan who was broken. It was Dan who couldn’t love. It was Dans fault that Phil would get bored and leave.

He was scared of Phil leaving him. He had never been so scared of anything. Because Phil was his best friend, the only real friend he ever had really. And although he couldn’t love Phil romantically, he still loved him and he still cared about him. Dan didn’t want to lose him. He didn’t want to go back to being alone, not after he had seen what it could be like with Phil. But no matter how scared he was, he had to let Phil know that his feelings hadn’t changed. Even if that meant that Phil would get bored of Dan, it wouldn’t be fair to pretend to have romantic feelings for him if he didn’t.

“Phil, I..” Dan hated how Phil still had this little bit of hope in his eyes, as if he thought that maybe Dan would tell him that he loved him too. He hated that he had to destroy this hope. He wished that he could change, that he could stop being a robot and start feeling something.

“Don’t cry Dan, please” He hadn’t even noticed the tears on his face before Phil mentioned it and he didn’t really care. He just had to focus on telling Phil what he had to tell him now and he had to focus on not falling apart in the process.

“Phil, I’m not in love with you and I never will be” He wanted to say that he was sorry, because he was. He wanted to say that he wished he could change, because he did. He wanted to say a lot of things really but he couldn’t get any more words out of his mouth. 

Neither of them said anything else that night and when Phil went back to his own room, both of them wished they had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! If anyone is still reading this, I hope you still like it and I'd love some feedback! :) Thank you :)


End file.
